TBT: Conker!

Anyone remember this BAMF of a squirrel?
So do I, because I wasn’t allowed to play it… well, anything after the 1st game really.

Of course I’m talking more video games this week because: a) I feel like it, and b) a bunch of new trailers were just released and they need to be weighed and judged.
So this weeks TBT is dedicated to everything Conker! (the video game series, not the nut)

If you’re remembering Conker as a the drunken, swearing, shoot ’em up squirrel of Nintendo then you’re probably remembering the Conker’s Bad Fur Day version, released in 2001, for the Nintendo 64.

conkersbfdbox

Even though the bad-mouthed version is the more well known version, Rare released one Conker game before Bad Fur Day, called Conker’s Pocket Tales.
It was cute, family friendly, and average. Released for the Gameboy and Gameboy Colour in 1999, but didn’t become very popular (probably due to the continuous, fast-paced releases of the Pokemon games.)

Conkerspockettalesboxart.jpg

[Cute, right?]

After the creation of this semi-unplayed game, the developers made Conker a selectable character in Diddy Kong Racing, a way of hyping-up the release of Conker’s Twelve Tales.

Huh? But that game doesn’t exit~

That’s because Twelve Tales was quickly cancelled, probably when Rare realized the number of cute animal adventure games already being released for the Nintendo 64 that year.
So Bad Fur Day was made instead.

[Fun Fact: Conker’s Bad Fur Day was originally an April Fools joke.]

I loved Conker’s Bad Fur Day, but considering I was only 11 when it was released my mom prohibited me from playing it (as a good mother would/should.)
Lucky for me I had an older cousin (he was 13) who had older friends that were of age to buy the game, and then let my older cousin borrow.
So me and my younger cousin (of about 9) would sneak into my old cousins room, when he and my aunt weren’t home, and play Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

#childhood

The main reason I brought Conker up today is, is because the developers of this dead horse are still trying to beat something out of it!
Bad Fur Day was great! But then there was the attempt at a comeback with Conker: Live and Reloaded, released for the Xbox in 2005. Sorry/notsorry but it was kind of a giant “MEH! same shit different game.”

b0000a1osv-02-lzzzzzzz

Then the developers did it again in 2015. Did you even know that Conker came back in 2015 as a digital add-on for the Xbox One and Windows?
No?
Well neither did I, and it was called Conker’s Big Reunion.

And now Microsoft is bringing him back from the dead, AGAIN! HoloLens stylez, in Young Conker.

maxresdefault

That’s right, young Conker.
They literally went “so we’ve pretty much used every story idea we have, so let’s Benjamin Button this ish.”

That’s not even the kicker. This game doesn’t seem to have any actual game play.
The hologram glasses turn your surrounding into the level that you will guide Conker through.
Sounds pretty cool, huh?
Well it sounds pretty damn lazy to me.

This is a game that literally has no content: no story, next to no characters (except this rip off of a childhood hero), and no fucking game play.

#provemewrong
It seems to me that there really is no endgame for this ish, nothing to suck the audience in, nothing to actually engage with.

It feels like they sunk all of their energy into the technology, and none of their love into a story.
It’s just a holographic squirrel running around your furniture, collecting more money between the couch cushions than you make in a year.

But whatever, what do I know about gaming?


I welcome you to go check out the trailer for this little project (I linked it below.)

Read into it, and let me know what you think of this new look on an old character.
Should they have tried again?
Do you think they’re draining their money?
How do you feel about video games without any real content?

Let me know in the comments below!


Want to check out the Microsoft HoloLens Young Conker video, click this link right HERE.

The hyperlinks below are where I pulled each image from.
Conker’s Pocket Tales
Conker’s Bad Fur Day
Conker: Live and Reloaded
Young Conker

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